Northboro H3 Kennel Traditions
There are no rules... only traditions
Just like religion, there are rules we observe, rules we omit, and rules we dictate out of the blue. Basically, there are no rules... only traditions. Here is a vastly incomplete listing of the traditions of the Northboro Hash House Harriers.
RAIN OR SHINE
Neither rain, nor sleet, nor gloom of night stays these hares from the swift completion of their appointed rounds. We hash in all weather conditions! Seriously... we don't cancel Trails due to weather... EVER!
A HASH RUN IS BORN A Hash Run is born when the Hare gains approval from the NH3 Hare Raiser for location, trail distance, time, date, and co-hare. The Hare Raiser is responsible to create an event on the NH3 Facebook page and invite all members of the kennel.
SWEEPER The Hare should designate a Sweeper to ensure that the slowest, most intoxicated Hounds don't become hopelessly lost, or too far behind on Trail. The Sweeper should have knowledge of the Trail trajectory and should guide the slowest Hounds to shortcuts to catch up with Pack if they become too lazy or too far behind. The Sweeper is also responsible to remove garbage, particularly empty beer cans, left at the Beer Checks and On-On. This hasher stays at the rear of the trail, and is a good job for a slower runner, or a lush.
While hashing, a hash name must be used to protect the identities of the hashers. Earning a hash name is a great honor whether it's earned easily or through great suffering, and Hashers can often be spotted by their PEARL NECKLACE which is lettered with their hash name. Failure to use a hash name while addressing a hasher (during a hash) is a violation may result in a small punishment, such as a down-down.
The hound being named must not like the name. There must be evidence of the hound complaining or discouraging the use of the name. For example, some hounds will suggest an alternate name, or plead and protest, and some hounds will just quietly flinch or a groan. Any negative reaction meets the name flinch criteria. The name will be tried unofficially, as a "Sticky" name until it either dies out, or gathers enough support amongst the hounds to initiate a Sealed Name Ceremony.
SEALED NAME CEREMONY
To become a Sealed name, a Sticky name must be presented at Circle, either. Evidence of the Name Flinch must be verified. The name must be be voted on unanimously by all hounds present, and finally, the hound being named must seal the name with a down-down, complete with the singing of the Down-Down Song, and Flour baptism.
It's our Kennel custom to collect $5 Hash Cash per Hound at the ON-ON, for the purpose of reimbursing the Hare for providing adequate hydration to the pack in the form of BEER. The BEER may be supplied at the start (On-On), at beer checks (BC), and at the end (On-In.) The Hare isn't responsible to pay for BCs at bars, but a good Hare would notify the hounds of the necessity to bring additional Hash Cash for this purpose.
5-YEAR OLD STANDARD Our tradition is for the Hare to clearly mark the trail. This is normally done with sidewalk chalk and flour, or some other method could be used. The Hare must bear in mind that Hounds are very, very, stupid. The trail must be marked in such a way that a 5 year old child could follow it.
HOT OR COLD TRAIL The Hare may lay a Hot Trail by laying the trail just minutes ahead of the pack, or the Hare may lay a Cold Trail by laying the trail hours ahead of time. Cold Trails can be fun for the fittest hares, as they would normally run the route with with Hounds, as a second lap.
TRAIL SECRECY The Hare will not answer questions about the planned trail! Questions about the trail would normally be answered with the quip: "Only the Hare knows where the Hare is going." The Hare does reserve the right to sell clues to clueless hounds at the cost of one down-down or other negotiated compensation.
The Hare may invite one or more Co-Hares to mark the trail. This method can improve the trail quality because the trail can be marked more clearly by using greater quantities of marking materials. In addition, more false trails can be marked, more beer can be stashed, and the hares could split the trail into a Turkey-Eagle as explain above.
HARE SNARE An experienced Hare laying a Hot Trail will take steps to ensure he is not caught by a Hound while laying the Trail. Taking steps such as laying the Beer Checks in advance, knowing the terrain, and taking a 10 minute head start from the On-On and from each Beer Check is local custom at NH3. A Hound that is able to catch a Hare laying a Live Trail (not at a Beer Check) has achieved a “Hare Snare.” This is a highly coveted accomplishment, similar to a perfect game in baseball, or a hole-in-one for golf.
Hounds determined to snare the Hare can employ countermeasures such as shortcutting, or the use of FRBs to catch the Hare before the end of the Trail. If successful, the Hound must tag the Hare and call a “Hare Snare.” The Hare must then give his/her pants to the Hound, and continue laying the Trail with no pants. All Hounds must stop at the spot where this occurred, and wait 5 minutes before proceeding.
CALLING HARE SNARE
Once a “Hare Snare” has been audibly called, the Hare is not permitted to lay any gathering checks for as long as the Hare is within sight of the FRB. The Hare must continue on laying a true trail. This regulation is necessary to prevent the Hare from writing numerous gathering Checks mere seconds before he is snared.
So, if the FRB calls a “Hare Snare,” and succeeds in tagging the Hare with his hand, the Hare must stop and mark HS on the Trail. Then, the Hare must give his pants to the FRB, and continue laying the Trail with no pants. The Hare may be tempted to accuse the FRB of check-skipping, but proper etiquette requires making the mark, giving up the pants, and waiting until Circle to discredit the FRB. Once the pants have been surrendered, no Hound may proceed until the DFL arrives, and then the entire pack must wait together for 5 minutes to celebrate before continuing on. The Hare Snare is not official until approved at Circle, provided there is no testimony from the Hounds that the FRB skipped any gathering checks. Only Hound testimony be considered. Testimony from Hares is not taken into consideration.
THE CHICKEN AND PIG Pack position is measured at each check and at Circle, in order to bestow esteemed titles, and, a rubber chicken and pig.
FRB: Front Running Bastard (Carry Freddy Chicken)
DFL: Dead Last (Carry Doris Pig)
BEER CHECK The Hare is responsible for including correctly-proportioned Beer Check on Trail. A well-designed Beer Check will have enough beer for everyone and set so that the Pack arrives at about the same time, regardless of their running ability. Arriving last to a Beer Check to find the FRBs have already finished the beers is an unspeakable insult to the Pack.
R U? ON-ON? Calling out “R U?” is done to inquire whether or not the listener is on the true trail. Good etiquette requires the listener to answer either “On-On” or “Checking.” Answering “On-On” means the listener has found the True Trail. Answering “Checking”means the listener doesn’t know where he is. Blowing a whistle or a horn is equivalent to answering “On-On.”
CHALK TALK It’s the Hare's duty to familiarize the pack with the marks that they will encounter. Marks can vary according to local custom, so visitors and virgins should pay close attention.
ACCUSATIONS The “Circle” is normally begins after the last DFL has been accounted for. The first order of business is normally to recognize the Hares, the FRB, the DFL, etc. Then the calling of accusations begins. Any Hasher can accuse any other Hasher for an infraction or praise on Trail. Do not point. Put your vessel on your head and wait your turn! The accused stands in the Circle, and is given some beer. A song is sung, and at the end of the song the accused can either do a down-down or pour the beer on his head.
Don’t raise your hand or point: (Put your vessel on your head or gesture with your elbow.) Don’t say “Head.” (See Head Chant)
Don’t wear a hat in Circle
Don’t pour beer on the ground. (Put it in a lush’s belly)
No race-ist (from running races) clothing
Bring a Vessel, Whistle, and Flashlight
When 1 Hare Drinks, All Hares Drink
HEAD CHANT If you use the word “head,” or trick someone else into saying it you can expect to hear this chant shouted as a response:
Head! Who said head?
I’ll take some of that,
And I did, and it was good, And there was much rejoicing!
SHORT-CUTTING As in life, some Hounds are delighted to run the trail exactly as it has been laid, and others seek a deviant path. Shortcutting is allowed. This is not to say that shortcutting won’t result in being accused for a down-down, but it is to say that the reward of a Hare Snare, or for arriving to Circle sooner, may be worth the punishment.
VIRGINS A first-time visitors to the hash are “Virgins”and thus, must be introduced to the rest of the hash so that the hash might take advantage of them later. It is customary to call the Virgins in the Circle and serenade them with the "We've Got Virgins" song. We might ask a few tricky questions, too.
REBOOTS Tradition: A “Reboot” is a hasher who hasn’tattended a NH3 hash for at least 3 months. WHERE WERE YOU LAST WEEK?
Melody –Where Were You Last Night (Hee-Haw) Where, oh where, were you last week? Why did you make us hash all alone? You fat lazy bastard you weren’t even here, So we fucked all the virgins and drank all the beer!
VISITORS Visitors are called into the circle (all of the visitors from a specific kennel are called in at once) and are asked to introduce themselves to the hash. After introductions have been made the Visitors have the option of singing a song, telling a joke, or showing a body part. Frequently the body part option is declined if the visitors are male, because nobody wants to see hairy, wrinkled balls.
NEW SHOES Wearing new shoes is a major hasing faux paus. Anyone caught wearing new shoes at the hash must pay the penalty of having to drink beer from out of their shoes (donations from the circle are taken so the shoe is fulll), so unless you like feet-flavored beer, you should wear well-worn hashing shoes.
CONE OF SILENCE This punishment is dispensed for a hasher who has repeatedly refused to shut their fucking mouth during circle. In this instance,the accused wears a traffic cone and is not allowed to talk while wearing it. The cone may be occassionally removed so that the Accussed can do a down-down through the top of it. Normally the cone will remain in place for 10 minutes, with time added if the Accused has the audacity to speak while wearing it.