Really? You still don't get it? Here are some questions we've heard from various wankers that haven't hashed with us before.
Frequently Asked Questions
I don't run. May I still hash with you?
A well designed Trail will have "checks," that compel the fastest runners to stop and wait for the slowest (or drunkest) members to
catch up. Even if you resort to a slow walk, you're going to eventually catch up to the pack at the checks.
They will be waiting for you, trying to solve a puzzle, or drinking BEER.
I don't drink alcohol. Can I hash with you?
Hashers never force anyone to drink. It is not at all unusual to have a teensy minority of teetotaling hounds at an NH3 hash. There are times when we do "down-downs," but watching someone chug water, or soft drinks is just as much fun for the Pack as watching someone chug beer.
How long is the Trail? Is it going to be hilly?
Only the Hare knows where the Hare is going.
Why is it called the "Hash House Harriers?"
"Hash House" is an ancient term for a restaurant with bad food. That's where the first hashers, in 1938, would meet on Monday nights to run. What were you thinking, anyway?
Should I wear new shoes to my first Hash?
May I bring a friend?
Yes. NH3 welcomes visitors and virgins. Just make sure you and your friend are over 21 years old.
What if I get lost?
It is possible to get lost, but you really have to be an idiot, so as an extra precaution, NH3 custom provides for a "sweeper" Hare, to make sure the slowest, stupidest hounds make it to the ON-IN (end of the Trail.) Tell the sweeper if you think you are the most stupid or the slowest so that the sweeper could keep a watchful eye on you. Also, listen for the FRBs, as they are supposed to signal by using whistles, or calling out. If you still think you're lost, you should go to the last trail mark and try and discover the Trail for yourself. Make sure you have a flashlight, so you can wander around the woods looking for marks in the dark, too.
May I bring my kids?
Not surprisingly, many NH3 hashers are inconsistent users of birth control. Regardless, the general rule is no kids. There are occasional exceptions to this rule, when the kids can be sheltered (out of sight) at a babysitting house. Such rare opportunities are explained in the invitation.
May I bring my dog?
Depending on the behavior of the dog (and owner), dogs are usually ok. The smartest thing to do is to check with the Hare ahead of time to be sure the Trail isn't headed anywhere too fancy for your leg-humping dog.
How much does it cost?
NH3 does not collect membership dues. Instead, we collect Hash Cash, (usually $5 per Trail). You pay only for the Trails that you participate in, and the proceeds are given to the Hare to cover expenses, mostly for BEER. Bring some extra cash in case the Hare runs into a pub, and you're still thirsty, or if you want to buy something after the Trail is officially over.
How do I join Northboro Hash House Harriers?
Our standards are very low, but hashing isn't for everyone. Just be 21 years old, be tolerant of foul language, funny costumes, beer drinking, excercise, the outdoors, and off-color jokes. Then, press the join button to access the JOIN page on this website. Show up to a trail and decide if hashing is for you. If not, you can stop showing up.
Should I bring anything?
A whistle, vessel, and flashlight are recommended. A change of dry clothing is usually a good idea, too. A photo ID and $ for pub stops and the ON-AFTER is a good idea.
Is it OK if I jog very slowly, or walk?
Like the old story of the Tortoise and the Hare, a slow runner can have advantages. Faster runners tend to dart about sniffing out false trails, pointless loops, hills and other obstacles that the slower runner can casually bypass. It is NH3 custom to wait at the BEER checks for the slowest runner before departing, too.
What's the deal with the Red Dress Run? Should I wear a Red Dress to the hash?
Sorry to dissapoint you, but we usually wear regular running clothes, unless the run has a costume theme.